Saturday, August 30, 2008

Death and Taxes people.

Customer: I want the newest Harry Potter book.
Me: I'll grab it for you.
I take the book up to the counter and ring it in
Me: That'll be $36.75
Customer: It says $35.00 on the book.
Me: Yes sir the other $1.75 is tax.
Customer: Why is there tax?
Me: Ummm... I don't know there just is. You'd have to ask the government.
Customer: I don't want to pay tax.
Me: Well nobody does sir but that's just the way it is, you can't get away without paying tax.
Customer: Well I'm not paying it.
Me: Well I can't not charge it.
Customer: Fine. I don't want the book then.
Me: Okay then.
Customer Talking like a spoiled child might : I WAS going to spend my gift certificate here but now I'm not going to. I'm just not going to use it EVER. So there.
Customer then storms out
Me: ???

Wow. Completely unaware of how gift certificates work? I'd be interested to know if he understands the concept of income tax and whether the Canadian Tax people know about him....

Thursday, August 28, 2008

You couldn't have needed it too desperately

Customer: I'm here to pick up my book.
Me: Can I get your name?
Customer tells me his name.
Me: I don't see anything on the hold shelf.... Let me check the computer.
I check the computer and find that this person's book arrived more than 4 months ago and was never picked up.
Me: That reservation was canceled when the book wasn't picked up within four weeks of arrival.
Customer: But I really needed it.
Me: It was ordered more than 4 Months ago sir. We can't hold things that long without payment. It was put out on the sales floor and sold.
Customer: That was MY book!
Me: Actually sir, it was our book. It had the possibility of becoming your book for 4 weeks after it arrived. Had you paid for it, it would have then became your book. After that 4 weeks it became fair game for other customers.
Customer: Well I still want it.
Me: Okay sir, we can special order it for you. We will require you to pay for it before it is ordered however.
Customer: I didn't have to pay for it in advance last time.
Me: True, but then you didn't come in and pick up the book you ordered.
Customer: But I'm here now.
Me: It's been 4 months sir. I'll be needing that prepaid.

We did end up ordering this book for the customer. He did pay for it in advance.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

You lie!

Customer(on the phone): Do you have a book there that is a very big book of birds with pictures and you press a button and it plays the bird songs?
Me: Yes we do.
Customer: How much is it?
Me: $50.00
Customer: I saw it at another store in town for $25.00.
Me: Really? Maybe it wasn't the same book. This one is very large and has hundreds of pictures as well as the digital player for the bird calls.
Customer: I'm sure it's the same book. I'd like it for $25.00.
Me: I'm afraid that book is $50.00 - I won't be able to sell it for $25.00.
Customer: Fine - I'll get it at the other place.
Not more than an hour later this same customer comes into the store - I knew from her voice right away.

Customer: Do you have a book of birds with pictures and you press a button and it plays the bird songs?
Me: Yes, it's right here.
Customer: How much is it?
Me: $50.00
Customer: Some other store in town has it for $25.00
Me: Is that so?
Customer: I'd like it for $25.00
Me: Well, it's $50.00. I can't sell it to you for $25.00.
Customer: It's somewhere else for $25.00.
Me: Where is that?
Customer: Somewhere else.
Me: Okay.
Customer: So can I have it for $25.00 then?
Me: No.
Customer: Fine I'll take it.

Why do people lie to us?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

In my world the sky is green

Customer: I'd like a copy of Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer please.
Me: Okay, I'll grab it from the shelf for you.
A Moment Later
Me: Here you are.
Customer: Oh. I want it in paperback.
Me: I'm sorry, it just came out in Hardcover. It'll probably be around a year before it's out in paper.
Customer: I want it in paperback. I've seen it at another store in paperback.
Me: Maybe it was another book that you saw? They haven't released it in paperback in Canada.
Customer: I saw it.
Me: Okay, well we don't have it.
Customer: I'm going to buy it in paperback at Ch***ers.
Me: Okay. Have a nice day.

I suddenly feel bad for the poor kid she's going to talk to at Ch***ers.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm sure you're very trustworthy

A man comes in to the store that I don't know at all. He's not a regular customer, family or friends of any of the staff or even a neighbour....

Customer: Can I just take this book now and come back later and pay for it?
Me: Umm sorry no.
Customer: But I'll come back later this afternoon I promise.
Me: We really can't allow merchandise to leave without it being paid for.
Customer: I'm trustworthy. Don't I look like I'm trustworthy?
Me: You look very trustworthy sir but I'm afraid it doesn't really matter what I think. We can't allow you to leave with a book that hasn't been paid for.
Customer: Okay, I guess I'll pay for it then.
Me: Okay.

Strange don't you think?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Boy do I get it

Good joke: If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers

Check out this link. They understand the people I'm trying to help.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I could if you'd let me

Customer: Can you tell me something? *Holding CD of a local band*
Me: Sure. I'd be happy to.

Customer stands there and stares at me....

Me: What would you like to know?
Customer: Well is this a song? *Pointing at one of the songs on the song list*
Me: Ummm, yes.
Customer: Fine then. I don't want it.
Me: Okay.

Friday, August 22, 2008

A Dog's Life it's not

Customer: Do you have that dog book?
Me: Which dog book were you looking for?
Customer: That dog book that's on the bestseller list.
Me: Okay, was it a training book or like a story about a dog book?
Customer: It's on the bestseller list.
Me: Okay, do you remember which bestseller list you saw it on?
Customer: THE bestseller list
Me: In the Globe, MacLeans, The NewYork Times?
Customer: I don't know.
Me: Okay, was it recently that you saw it or a little while ago?
Customer: I don't know.
Me: Okay, Was it one of Cesar Millan's books? Cesar's Way? Be the Pack Leader?
Customer: No.
Me: Marley and Me? A Dog Year? Katz on Dogs?
Customer: No. I'll just look for it.
Me: Okay. Let me know if I can help with anything else.
Customer after 10 min: Here it is I found it myself.
She has Marley and Me in her hands.

I just smile and wish her a Nice Day.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'm the lazy one?

*Phone Rings* While I am ringing customers through.

Me: Hello ________ Books, _________ speaking.
Customer: Hello, do you have the phone number for the Walmart?
Me: Umm... No.
Customer: *Rude* Well. Can you look it up for me?
Me: I'm a little busy with our customers at the moment.
Customer: You people are so lazy.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I've looked everywhere!

What is with these people??

Customer: I've looked EVERYWHERE for this book. Do you have it?
Me: Yes.
Customer: I've seriously looked EVERYWHERE in town for this book. I was at Wa**art and Ze**ers and the grocery store and Everyone kept telling me to check here so you were my last hope.

*In Brain Commentary*
Really? You looked EVERYWHERE and they ALL told you that you should try the BOOKstore for the BOOK you are looking for?

Who are these people and why are they all customers at THIS store?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

American Money

Why are Americans so shocked when we tell them that we only accept Canadian currency? We are in Canada after all.

Me: That comes to $9.87 with the tax.
Customer hands me a US $20 & I must have given him a funny look.
Customer: That's more than enough to cover it.
Me: Yes sir, it would be but I'm afraid we are unable to accept US currency.
Customer:*disdainfully*Well Why Not?
Me: We're not set up to deposit US money sir, only Canadian funds.
Customer: I don't understand why everyone keeps telling me they can't take my money. I should be able to use my money anywhere in my country.
Me: Since we are in Canada sir, and not IN your country, we only accept Canadian funds. We can use Visa, Master Card or American Express if that will be more convenient for you.
At this point he's starting to get all worked up.
Sir, do you have a Visa we can use?
Yes, but I'm not paying no Canadian money.
Not a problem sir. We'll charge it to your Visa and you can pay in US money.
Since I know that credit cards pay the merchant in their currency and charge the customer in their own currency at whatever exchange rate is in effect at the time I figure this is a safe way to get the upset yelling man out of the store and still sell the book.
I knew you could take US money. You have to. It's the law you know.

There should be a law alright. One that forces Americans learn that the entire world is not a collection of US states.

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Exchange -

Customer: "Do you have that self help book"
Me: "Sorry, which self help book? Do you know the title? Or author?"
Customer: "No, It's that self help book"
Me:"umm... okay, well we have a whole section of self help books. Did you see it on Oprah by any chance?"
Customer: "No"
Me:"Okay, what type of self help book is it?"
Customer: "Self Help"
Me:"I understand that, but there are many different subjects that fall under that category. Did it seem generally inspirational or more specialized, like dealing with grief for instance?"
Customer: "Self Help"
Me:"Umm...okay - here's the self help section. It might be best if you browse and see if you can see it."

I have no idea if the lady found what she was looking for; I went on break after a few minutes. I hope she found "the" self help book.

To Begin

Hello Bloggesphere.

I am starting this blog as a form of therapy. Stress relief if you will.

Readers are suppose to be smart people.... so the theory goes anyway. There are days that I'm quite sure everyone who comes in to the store must be purchasing for someone else who actually reads. There are some really brain dead people out there.

My number one pick so far for truly dumb question:

"So you guys are a bookstore? So do you sell the books?"

I kid you not - this is a question we hear in the store several times a month.

I will share these questions and comments and stories with you people of the screen.