Can I come?

Customer: I'm looking for Bride Wars.
Me: The movie?
Customer: No. The book.
Me: Okay, let me take a look.
I check the computer
Me: I'm sorry but I don't see a book called Bride Wars. What is it about?
Customer: Two best friends who end up with wedding dates on the same day.
Me: That sounds like the movie Bride Wars.
Customer: Well it's suppose to be out as a book.
Me: I'm sorry but I can't find a book with that title but I know that a movie with that name and plot just came out. They have a big poster in the window of the movie place down the street.
Customer: Well it has to be a book if it's a movie.
Me: I wish it worked that way.


I was finally able to convince this person that they should check the movie place. They were really very nice, I just wish I lived in that world too....

It's started already

Customer: Do you have the new Dan Brown book?
Me: The DaVinci Code is the newest one that's out. Where you looking for Angels and Demons? That's the one the new movie is based on.
Customer: No. I want the new one. The Lost Secret.
Me: They've only just released the news of the the release date of the new book. The Lost Symbol will be out Sept 15.
Customer: No (RUDE) The new one is out. It's called The Lost Secret and that's the one I want.
Me: I'm sorry sir. We have no Dan Brown book called The Lost Secret and The Lost Symbol will be out Sept 15.
Customer: You people don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to go find it at W*****t.


And good luck with that. Last I checked they weren't exactly book experts at W*****t. I feel at least a little sorry for whatever poor schmuck he talks to there. I'm sure he'll be just as fun when he's asking for the non-existing book at a discount.

You don't work here do you?

Authors can be just as difficult as customers.
We have one author who insists on coming into the store and rearranging store displays to have her book where she thinks it should be. No consideration for the fact that there might be a reason her book is where we put it to begin with. Like, strangely or not, that's where it sells.
ARRGGGG.
She's struck again.

WTF is going on with this Twilight thing!!

Is anyone out there reading anything else other than Stephenie Meyer's books!?!?!?!!?
I think that's all we've sold today. Really.
I'm glad that people (in particular, young people) are reading. I'm just surprised. I read the first one. It was okay; certainly not the best crafted novel ever but not the worst either. It is, however, a romance novel for teenagers. While reading it I thought "wow, I would have been ALL OVER this when I was 13", often. I'm sure someone's going to say nasty things about me because I'm not on the Twilight-is-the-best-thing-EVER bandwagon, but, I don't get the obsession in the non-teen crowd.

I wonder if I'll hear about this......

Customer: You can't have this book here.
Me: Pardon me?
Customer: You can't have this book.
Me: I don't think I understand you.
Customer: You can't sell this book here.

Customer points to Under the Banner of Heaven

Me: Okay..... why not?
Customer: It's offensive to my religion.
Me: What?
Customer: I find it offensive to my religion.
Me: Okay. Well I suggest you don't purchase it.
Customer: You're not going to remove it from the shelf?
Me: Ummm. No.
Customer: Well I find it offensive.
Me: As I said. Don't buy it.

Do I know you?

This is a customer I'm sure I've never seen before.

Customer: I'm looking for a good book
Me: Okay. What kind of thing do you like?
Customer: I like that last one that I read.
Me: Okay. What was that?
Customer: You know, that last one there that I read.
Me: I'm afraid I don't know what the last book you read was.
Customer: It was that one about the people in Africa.
Me: Okay...... was it fiction or a true story?
Customer: It was that last one there that I read.



I never did figure out why he thought I would know what the last book he had read was. We did send him home with a copy of War Child by Emmanual Jal. I hope he likes it.

You're not helping

Customer: Can you order books?
Me: Yes.
Customer: I guess I have to tell you the name of the book.
Me: That's usually helpful yes.
Customer: It's published by Little Brown.
Me: Okay.
Customer: It's like $22.
Me: Okay. Do you know the title?
Customer: It's Blue.
Me: Okay. Do you happen to know the title?
Customer: The author is Wallace I think.
Me: Okay, I can try to search by author for you.
Customer: It's called Infinite Jest.



This was one of those nice enough but clueless exchanges. Why couldn't she just give me the title to begin with?