Ass out of U and Me

A customer calls the store

Customer: I'd like to return a book I bought.
Me: Okay, do you have the receipt?
Customer: Yeah.
Me: It shouldn't be a problem, as long as it hasn't been more than a week and it's still in sale-able condition.
Customer: Great. I'll see you later.

The customer comes in later that day.

Customer: Hi, I called earlier and you said I could return this.
Me: Sure, I just need your receipt.

He hands me his receipt.

It's for a different store.
Not a different location of our store or something, a COMPLETELY different store.

Me: Sir, this receipt isn't for this store.
Customer: Yeah, I know. I didn't buy it here.
Me: Ummmm, I can't return it here if you didn't buy it here.
Customer: Well you didn't say that when I called.
Me: If you'd mentioned you hadn't purchased the book here I would have told you we couldn't return it. Generally we assume that if you call here asking to return something you bought it here. That's the reason you need a receipt, to show you bought it here.

Maybe a little Too Specific

Customer: Where are your biographies?
Me: Over Here. Are you looking for something specific?
Customer: Music bios.
Me: OK they'll be through here.
Customer: I'm really looking for the drug addicted rockers section.
Me: Huh?
Customer: The section with all the the drug addicted musicians....
Me: Ummm... we don't really have a "drug addicted" sub-section in music bios section. Sorry.



HAHAHAHAHA - Okay - sometimes they just make me laugh.

Common Sense not so Common

A customer comes up to the counter with a popular diet book.

Customer: What's your return policy?
Me: 7 days on most things, excluding sale items and things can't be unsealed if they come sealed. Is it a gift?
Customer: No I just want to try it out and see if it works.
Me: Oh. Okay...
Customer: Well if I don't lose weight I should be able to return the book right?
Me: Ummm... Well, as long as the pages are all there and you can read then the book "works". Whether the diet does or not isn't really the book's fault. So no.

Only if you're on acid

Customer: You you have any George Orwell?
Me: Sure, over here in the fiction section.
Customer: No. He's not fiction.
Me: Umm yes he is certainly fiction.

From across the room I hear a coworker say: Yeah all those talking animals are totally non-fiction


I get the books for the customer and he buys them - still quite sure that they're in the wrong place in the store because he only ever buys non-fiction.

I must have been a bad person

Customer: What's the price on this?

Points to a GORGEOUS 3 book hardcover boxed set of ALL of the Calvin and Hobbes ever.

Friend: Oooo if you can't find a price it's free.

I pull it down and look a the price tag and point it out to her

Customer: Oh, well I don't want it if it isn't free.



I must have been a bad person is some past life. What else explains these people?

Tweedle DUMB

Customer: WOW yous got a lot of books in here.

Me: We are a bookstore.

Customer: Really? Well yous won't be here long I bet. No ones gonna buy books. No one I knows reads nothin.




Help. Seriously. Help.

You should probably start with sorry

Customer: Where's your health section?

Already she's got rude and uninterested down. Impressive in four words.

Me: Over here. Are you looking for something in particular?

The Customer names the book.

Me: Oh. I'm afraid we are sold out of that title. It's back ordered due to a reprint so can't say when it will be back in stock.

Customer: Oh shit.

She then proceeds to tell he friend this whole story about throwing away her other friend's book and having to replace it.

Customer: Well when will it be in.

Me: I'm not sure. Because it's a reprint I have no information from the publisher as to when to expect it.

Customer: Well is there something wrong with the book?

Me: Huh?

Customer: Is there something WRONG with the book? You said they had to reprint it.

Me: Umm no... they just ran out and had to make more... it happens a lot...

Customer: Really? You actually sell lots of stuff here?

Me: Ummm... yes....I suppose so...

Customer: Well what am I suppose to tell my friend?




How about she needs to find some smarter people to hang out with?