also known as school bags.....

Customer: Do you sell book bags?
Me: Ummm We have these reusable bags here and these gift bags, but we don't have book bags per say.
Customer: That's not what I want, I'm looking for book bags like kids use for school.
Me: We don't really sell anything like that. You should try a department store or an office supply store maybe.
Customer: Well you sell books.
Me:Yes?
Customer: You should sell book bags.
Me: Sorry about that.


What I wanted to say - They're also known as school bags, packsacks, backpacks, rucksacks, knapsacks etc etc etc Maybe since they're also known as school bags you should check the local grade schools - maybe they'll sell you one...

Okay - I'm cranky.

VENT

For the 12th time (at least) today.

No the 3rd and 4th books in the Twilight Saga are not out in paperback in North America. Not even at WAL-MART!!! I'm not lying, confused or mistaken. If your "friend" has them they're either from some other country or YOU are lying, confused or mistaken. If you don't believe me; all the power to you, please go look somewhere else.

Okay, I'll just let you browse......

Customer: Do you have technical books?
Me: Sure. What kind were you looking for?
Customer: I don't know - I'll know when I see it.
Me: Okay, but what subject matter? Technical books about welding or machining or woodworking or computers? They're in different areas.
Customer: I'm not sure.
Me: Ummmm okay, well that whole area over here is non-fiction....


I completely get the "something will jump out at me" school of shopping...... But how can you not know if you're looking for a welding book or a book about computers?

From my friends at Bakka-Phoenix Books

OVERHEARD IN THE BOOKSTORE

Customer: What I don't like about books is how indiscreet the authors can be. And it's really hard to get in touch with them. Sometimes they're even dead.
Bakka-Phoenix: Okay.
C: I'm a very elaborate thinker, you see: I can think of alternates to the statements they make.
BPB: Indeed.
C: You have a nice selection here. Goodbye.
BPB: Thank you.
(brief pause)
Ben: Okay, that was even more surreal than the last one. I'm afraid to see what's going to walk through the door next.

Martian: Ooo-la ooo-la?
B: Over here, behind the plant, under "W"
M: Blarg.
B: Thank you.



Although this didn't happen to me it could have and I had to share!!

My skin actually crawled

Why do people insist on chewing gum with their mouths open? It sounds disgusting, it looks horrible, like a cud chewing cow and it makes it really difficult to understand and to take them seriously.

Customer: GumSmack Where are your best sellers?
Me: Right here (under the large sign that says bestsellers)
Customer: GumSmack then something completely unintelligible.
Me: Pardon me?
Customer: GumSmack Twilight?
Me: Just over here.


Believe it or not this was not a 13 year old girl. This was a woman in her thirties AND her mother!!!!!
UGH. Disgusting.

Can I come?

Customer: I'm looking for Bride Wars.
Me: The movie?
Customer: No. The book.
Me: Okay, let me take a look.
I check the computer
Me: I'm sorry but I don't see a book called Bride Wars. What is it about?
Customer: Two best friends who end up with wedding dates on the same day.
Me: That sounds like the movie Bride Wars.
Customer: Well it's suppose to be out as a book.
Me: I'm sorry but I can't find a book with that title but I know that a movie with that name and plot just came out. They have a big poster in the window of the movie place down the street.
Customer: Well it has to be a book if it's a movie.
Me: I wish it worked that way.


I was finally able to convince this person that they should check the movie place. They were really very nice, I just wish I lived in that world too....

It's started already

Customer: Do you have the new Dan Brown book?
Me: The DaVinci Code is the newest one that's out. Where you looking for Angels and Demons? That's the one the new movie is based on.
Customer: No. I want the new one. The Lost Secret.
Me: They've only just released the news of the the release date of the new book. The Lost Symbol will be out Sept 15.
Customer: No (RUDE) The new one is out. It's called The Lost Secret and that's the one I want.
Me: I'm sorry sir. We have no Dan Brown book called The Lost Secret and The Lost Symbol will be out Sept 15.
Customer: You people don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to go find it at W*****t.


And good luck with that. Last I checked they weren't exactly book experts at W*****t. I feel at least a little sorry for whatever poor schmuck he talks to there. I'm sure he'll be just as fun when he's asking for the non-existing book at a discount.