Saturday, May 30, 2009

also known as school bags.....

Customer: Do you sell book bags?
Me: Ummm We have these reusable bags here and these gift bags, but we don't have book bags per say.
Customer: That's not what I want, I'm looking for book bags like kids use for school.
Me: We don't really sell anything like that. You should try a department store or an office supply store maybe.
Customer: Well you sell books.
Customer: You should sell book bags.
Me: Sorry about that.

What I wanted to say - They're also known as school bags, packsacks, backpacks, rucksacks, knapsacks etc etc etc Maybe since they're also known as school bags you should check the local grade schools - maybe they'll sell you one...

Okay - I'm cranky.

Monday, May 25, 2009


For the 12th time (at least) today.

No the 3rd and 4th books in the Twilight Saga are not out in paperback in North America. Not even at WAL-MART!!! I'm not lying, confused or mistaken. If your "friend" has them they're either from some other country or YOU are lying, confused or mistaken. If you don't believe me; all the power to you, please go look somewhere else.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Okay, I'll just let you browse......

Customer: Do you have technical books?
Me: Sure. What kind were you looking for?
Customer: I don't know - I'll know when I see it.
Me: Okay, but what subject matter? Technical books about welding or machining or woodworking or computers? They're in different areas.
Customer: I'm not sure.
Me: Ummmm okay, well that whole area over here is non-fiction....

I completely get the "something will jump out at me" school of shopping...... But how can you not know if you're looking for a welding book or a book about computers?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

From my friends at Bakka-Phoenix Books


: What I don't like about books is how indiscreet the authors can be. And it's really hard to get in touch with them. Sometimes they're even dead.
Bakka-Phoenix: Okay.
C: I'm a very elaborate thinker, you see: I can think of alternates to the statements they make.
BPB: Indeed.
C: You have a nice selection here. Goodbye.
BPB: Thank you.
(brief pause)
Ben: Okay, that was even more surreal than the last one. I'm afraid to see what's going to walk through the door next.

Martian: Ooo-la ooo-la?
B: Over here, behind the plant, under "W"
M: Blarg.
B: Thank you.

Although this didn't happen to me it could have and I had to share!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My skin actually crawled

Why do people insist on chewing gum with their mouths open? It sounds disgusting, it looks horrible, like a cud chewing cow and it makes it really difficult to understand and to take them seriously.

Customer: GumSmack Where are your best sellers?
Me: Right here (under the large sign that says bestsellers)
Customer: GumSmack then something completely unintelligible.
Me: Pardon me?
Customer: GumSmack Twilight?
Me: Just over here.

Believe it or not this was not a 13 year old girl. This was a woman in her thirties AND her mother!!!!!
UGH. Disgusting.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Can I come?

Customer: I'm looking for Bride Wars.
Me: The movie?
Customer: No. The book.
Me: Okay, let me take a look.
I check the computer
Me: I'm sorry but I don't see a book called Bride Wars. What is it about?
Customer: Two best friends who end up with wedding dates on the same day.
Me: That sounds like the movie Bride Wars.
Customer: Well it's suppose to be out as a book.
Me: I'm sorry but I can't find a book with that title but I know that a movie with that name and plot just came out. They have a big poster in the window of the movie place down the street.
Customer: Well it has to be a book if it's a movie.
Me: I wish it worked that way.

I was finally able to convince this person that they should check the movie place. They were really very nice, I just wish I lived in that world too....

Friday, May 1, 2009

It's started already

Customer: Do you have the new Dan Brown book?
Me: The DaVinci Code is the newest one that's out. Where you looking for Angels and Demons? That's the one the new movie is based on.
Customer: No. I want the new one. The Lost Secret.
Me: They've only just released the news of the the release date of the new book. The Lost Symbol will be out Sept 15.
Customer: No (RUDE) The new one is out. It's called The Lost Secret and that's the one I want.
Me: I'm sorry sir. We have no Dan Brown book called The Lost Secret and The Lost Symbol will be out Sept 15.
Customer: You people don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to go find it at W*****t.

And good luck with that. Last I checked they weren't exactly book experts at W*****t. I feel at least a little sorry for whatever poor schmuck he talks to there. I'm sure he'll be just as fun when he's asking for the non-existing book at a discount.