Really? Oh?

Customer: Do you have the third Chronicles?
Me: Sorry? The third Chronicles?
Customer: Yes
Me: Okay, the third chronicles of what? Kane Chronicles, Chronicles of Narnia, Underland Chronicles, the Elsewhere Chronicles?
Customer: THE Chronicles books.
Me: I'm sorry I just don't know which one you mean. Do you know the title of one of the first two?
Customer: Chronicles One and Chronicles Two. Then she makes that huffing sound that generally precedes some kind of negative comment about my competence
Me: Okay, can you tell me what they're about? I can narrow it down that way.
Customer: They're history books. About the area. The Newspaper says you have them.

Aha Moment! There is a little local museum that has self published these local history books and they're scheduled to put out a third one. Of course they haven't actually told us when they'll be out or dropped any off (because it's winter and they're closed they don't answer the phone now until April)

Me: Okay, I know which one you're looking for but I'm afraid they havn't delivered them yet. We're still waiting for them.
Customer: But it says in the paper that you have them.
Me: Well I'm not sure why they'd say that before they dropped them off but maybe that means they're going to deliver them soon. I can take your info and let you know when they arrive.
Customer: I've already done that. But you didn't call.
Me: We don't have the books yet. We won't call you until they're here.
Customer: Oh

Dazed and Confused?

Customer: This isn't the book I ordered.
Me: Oh. Let's see what's up.
Customer: I should have two books, one called Mckettrick's Christmas and one called A Creed County Christmas.
Me: OK I'll take a look here in the computer and see what happened.

I look and see that The Christmas Brides (which is the book we have for her) is actually two stories, Mckettrick's Christmas & A Creed County Christmas in one book. So I explain this, and then I explain it again... and again.... this is what it sounds like the fourth time or so...

Customer: That's not right. It said Mckettrick's Christmas & A Creed County Christmas in my other book.
Me: Those are the names of the two stories in this book. Maybe they thought they were going to release them as two separate books and didn't. I'm not sure.
Customer: Fine. I'll take this one but I want you to keep looking for the other two.
Me: OK. If I find them I'll let you know.



I totally get why this is confusing. The first two times I explain it. In any case, I'm happy to help you buy them as two extra volumes when you already have them in that one book if I can. Happy to help.

So you'd like it NOW?

Customer: Do you have The Polar Express and the Velveteen Rabbit in stock?
Me: I think so, let me check the computer. We've got lots of The Polar Express.... I'm checking on the Velveteen Rabbit.

At this point the husband comes over

CustHusband: Do they have them?
Customer: She said they have The Polar Express but it would be NICE if she got it.

WOW. REALLY? Holy give me a moment. I'm Still looking for the stock for the other book it's not like I've abandoned them after saying yes there's one somewhere here in the store you go find it Mawahhahahaha.

Stubborn doesn't always mean right.

Customer: I'm looking for a silver book by some guy who's Norwegian.
Me: How about Stieg Larsson's The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest?
Customer: Is he Norwegian?
Me: No. He was Swedish but the book is silver and very popular so it's probably the one.
Customer: No. I need the silver book by the Norwegian guy.


Needless to say we didn't find it.

Giving tourists a bad name

Customer: Do you have learn Spanish sets?
Me: Sure, over here.
Customer: Oh, these have cds?
Me: Yes, most of the sets come with a cd and the books. That way you can hear and see the lesson.
Customer: Oh, I don't need to hear it to learn it. I'll just know.
Me: Okay. I guess you don't need a set then. These are all the Spanish / English dictionaries here.


Okay then.

Phone Etiquette?

I answer the phone:
_________ Books. _______ Speaking.

I hear:
Never let me go.

I say:
Pardon me?

I hear an woman say in the rudest possible way:
Do you have the book about the movie Never Let Me Go or not?

I say:
We are out of stock but we have more coming in this week.

I hear:
"Click"


Can we make phone etiquette a mandatory class in high school? PLEASE?

ARG!

Have you ever noticed that it's always the people who go on ad nauseum about how dangerous it is for them to be in a bookstore and how much they read and how many books they have that are always the ones who leave without buying anything? Usually after they've followed you around the store for half an hour barely taking enough time to breath as they talk and talk and talk and talk......
Not that that just a happened. Excuse me while I go lock myself in a quiet room for a few minutes...