You have to give me something to work with here...

Customer: I'm looking for a fairy book for my daughter.
Me: Okay. We have LOTS of fairy related books. Were you looking for a story about fairies or more like a guide book for fairies?
Customer: Either one.
Me: Okay, what age group?
Customer: I don't know.
Me: You don't know how old your daughter is?
Customer: It's not for her, she wants it for someone else.
Me: Oh, okay. You don't know how old that person is?
Customer: No.
Me: Is it a child?
Customer: I don't know.
Me: Okay.....Well, I have about 150 books in store that are fairy related. Most of them are children's books, but the couple that are not you might not want to give to a child by mistake.

I take the customer over to where the Children's fairy books are located.

Me: Here are some choices.
Customer: Well how am I suppose to pick from all of these?
Me: Well, usually it helps to know who it's for.
Customer: Well I don't know who it's for.
Me: Okay, how about this one.

I grab a little hard cover book about fairies - where fairies might be found, what they wear etc.

Customer: That's pretty girly don't you think?
Me: ???? Well, it is a book about fairies.

I tried a few other titles and finally gave up and left her to "browse"



What the heck are you suppose to do with these people? I mean I am actually trying to help but really, there is only so much I can do.

P vs T

Customer: Do you have that book Tillers of the Earth?
Me: I'm sorry, I don't know that one.
Customer: It's pretty popular.
Me: Could it be Pillars of the Earth? By Ken Follett?
Customer: I'm sure it's Tillers of the Earth.
I check the computer. Sure enough no Tillers of the Earth.
Me: Let me show you Pillars of the Earth maybe it's the one you're looking for.
Customer: Well it's for my dad and I'll have to call him. He's been looking for it EVERYWHERE he said.
Customer calls her dad.
Customer: He's sure it's Tillers of the Earth. It's about someone building a church in old fashion England.
Me: Well, I'm not sure what to tell you. I have a Pillars of the Earth that is about someone building a church and it's very popular but Tillers of the Earth doesn't seem to exist.
Customer: Well I guess we'll just have to keep looking for it.


WHAT? Seriously? You're not going to accept after checking, and I quote, "EVERYWHERE" that maybe you just have the title a little off? You are never going to find the book about the guy building a church in England called Tillers of the Earth I don't care how many places you look.

Clueless

Customer: Can I look at the books?
Me: Sure.
Customer: The covers. I want to look at the covers.
Me: OK
The customer wanders around looking at books for a minute or two.
Customer: Do you have non fiction?
Me: Yes sir all of these shelves in this area are non-fiction. ( I sort of wave my arm around the area we are standing in)
Customer: So the other side of this shelf is non-fiction?
Me: Yes. All of these shelves are non-fiction.
Customer: So this shelf is non-fiction?
Me: Yes.
Customer walks to another shelf in the same area.
Customer: So this is non fiction too? Just different categories?
Me: Yes.


These people can not possible all be trying to do a Borat can they?

Not picky

Customer: You you have that book about a dog?
Me: Do you know the title by any chance?
Customer: No, the library in ( a town about 100 miles away) said there's a year wait for it.
Me: Ummm.. okay. Was is Marley and Me or the Story of Edgar Sawtelle?
Customer: I don't know what the title is.
Me: So if I tell you the titles you're still not going to know if it's the book you want. Do you know anything about what it's about?
Customer: It's about a dog.
Me: There are a few books that are popular about dogs. But If you don't know what what it's called or what it's about it's hard to narrow it down for you. I can just guess and give you one and tell you it's the dog book.
Customer: Ok


Ok? I wish everyone would let me just randomly pick a book and tell them it's what they want. I hope they like The Story of Edgar Sawtelle.

Some times you can't win

A customer calls and orders a hard to find title. I explain that it will take 2-3 weeks for it to arrive unless there are any problems with supply which sometimes happens with smaller presses.

2 weeks later the customer calls back and tells the staff person who answers that if the book isn't in that day she didn't want it and would order it somewhere else.

The book didn't come in. We canceled the order.

I got to talk to the customer when she called again a week later.

Customer: Is my book in?
Me: I'll look, may I have your name please?

Customer gives me her name - I pull it up - notice that there are notes on her account so I read them.

Me: I see here that you called a week ago and told us that if the book wasn't it that day you didn't want it so it has been canceled.
Customer: That's not what I said.
Me: I'm sorry, that's what the notes here say.
Customer: I said I'd order it somewhere else.
Me: Yes? And it didn't come in so we canceled the order because you were going to order it somewhere else.
Customer: Well I want it now.
Me: Okay, I'll be happy to reorder it for you.
Customer: Well that's not acceptable. I want it now.
Me: I'm afraid that's what we need to do. The order was canceled.
Customer: Your service sucks!


What part sucked? The part where we did what you asked? Or the part where we did what you asked? I don't even know what to say sometimes.

We're a bookstore Sir

Customer: Do you sell CD cases?
Me: No, sorry sir we don't. You could try Grand and Toy.
Customer: Do you sell little animal figures?
Me: Ummm.... no.
Customer: Do you have oil paints?
Me: No. We have books about oil painting, like how to paint that kind of thing...
Customer: What kind of store is this?
Me: Ummm We're a BOOKstore sir. We mostly sell books.


I'm not sure which of us was more confused here.

We have all the authors' home numbers....

Customer: Can you order this book?
Customer gives me the book title
Me: Sure.
Customer: Do you have anymore information about it?
Me: Like what?
Customer: Like the author's home phone number?
Me: HUH? No........
Customer: Oh, okay I'll look for it online.
Me: Ok.


That's not the kind of information we can really help with. What would ever make someone think that we would have that?

And the word of the day is Backordered

Customer: Do you have New Moon in stock?
Me: I'm afraid not. We have a ton on order but they're backordered so I can't say when they'll be here.
Customer: So when will you have more?
Me: I'm not sure. They're backordered. I don't know when they'll be here.
Customer: So like this week?
Me: If I knew I would tell you. I don't know. They are backordered. They will come eventually but I don't know when.
Customer: Well like soon?
Me: I don't know. They're backordered.


AAAARRRRGGG!

Random Word Selection Day

Customer: Do you have the third Whisper book?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that series. I can check.
Customer: The Whisper books - they're really popular.
Me: ?
Customer: The movie just came out.

Another Customer: Do you mean the Twilight books?
Customer: Yeah - the vampire books.

We get the lady her book. And I have to thank the other customer - their esp was obviously working better than mine that morning!